So here are Shalini's thoughts on 20 songs from the Countdown. Some of these songs go back almost a year! In fact, the oldest song in this list (Atlas Genius - Trojans) debuted on Episode #130. And, of course, some of these songs are on the Countdown that will be going up on Sunday. Four of 'em, in fact. I'm not going to give away which four, but I bet you can figure it out!
And now! Heeeeeeeeeere's Shalini!
alt-J - Breezeblocks
Oh! I know this song. It’s….that song. On the radio.
I like it. It always reminds me of if the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show started his own band, it would sound like this guy singing. There’s even a xylophone in it! (I think? It sounds like a xylophone.)
Atlas Genius - Trojans
I know this song too. I even own it! Do I win something? Or are you trying to stump me? Because FAIL. I even know the name of the song (Trojans? Right? Which is a terrible name.), but that’s their fault for being understandable in their pronunciation, unlike Swedish Chef up there. I especially like the electric guitar (or…whichever instrument is playing that riff over and over again—did you know one of my sons absolutely loves music, and started watching Austin City Limits when he was two? Two. He had a favorite indie band and everything (it was Death Cab for Cutie, but he was also partial to My Morning Jacket, and I didn’t even know who My Morning Jacket was, and I was a young mom! In my twenties! Hip! Fine, I was never hip or young. You got me.) This song sounds nothing like My Morning Jacket or Death Cab. This sounds like a song stay-at-home moms listen to while running on the treadmill. That’s a compliment to me, but probably an incredible insult to music lovers everywhere.
Atlas Genius - If So
Peppy! I could also run to this on the treadmill. (I’m sorry Cool Band Guys.) And I’ve never heard it, so that’s probably extra Cool Band Guy points. It strangely makes me crave parmesan cheese. I don’t know why. I might just be hungry.
It actually sounds a lot like the last song. [Good ears! Same Band!]
Capital Cities - Safe and Sound
This is horrible, but my kids take swimming lessons at a place called “Safe and Sound,” so that’s all I ever think of when I hear this song. I do really like it, except for the part where he says, “I could fill your cup,” which sounds vaguely porny. Ew. Wait, he also uses the phrase, “tidal wave of mystery,” and “hurricane of frowns.” As a writer, I must say I’m a little offended that this guy isn’t even TRYING. Come. On.
Whatever, my river won’t evaporate.
Daft Punk - Get Lucky
Daft Punk! Oh, the lyrics to this always get me. They’re so varied and veiled. What are they talking about? What do they want to DO? It’s like a Where’s Waldo of song lyrics! So mysterious! (I do like it.)
Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light 'Em Up)
Oh, any song with clapping or simulated clapping has me at hello. Except, wait. I hate this.
I really hate this guy’s voice. A lot. And…I don’t know, this sounds kind of like what The Eagles would sound like if they weren’t old and decrepit and awful musicians.
Fast forward.
Fitz & the Tantrums - Out of My League
I’ve heard this song before, too. I really like it. Heeeey, this CD is MINE. I can listen to these songs again. Score!
This song is super depressing though. Someone’s out of this guy’s league? Well, just wash your hair and put on a clean shirt, Cool Band Guy. You’re pretty talented, so don’t worry. Any girl who can’t see that isn’t worth your time. –Mother of another Future Cool Band Guy speaking
[I think this song is more about being absolutely blown away by how lucky you are to be with the person you're with. Being sure that there must be some mistake. It's a happy song!]
fun. - Carry On
Somber. This is different. There’s a piano. Oh, it’s that man that sounds like Tracy Chapman. This is…fine. A little love ballad. Meh.
Imagine Dragons - Demons
Why do singers think that moaning into a microphone in the beginning of a song is what people want to hear? That’s not what I want to hear. Is there something written in music reviews that says artists should do that? No.
I’ve heard this song a bazillion times and I kind of hate it now, but I think at one point I liked it a little. I don’t have much to say about it, just like I don’t have much to say about, like, Red Hot Chili Peppers, except that no one likes their songs as much as radio thinks we like their songs. Please stop.
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
This sounds like a song that would be on Grey’s Anatomy. I haven’t watched that show in a long time, but I could see this played over a dramatic scene between Mer and Der and like, a surgery where someone bleeds out and they hug each other and are sad and then go home and cuddle on the sofa, but what about that poor guy who bled out on the table, Mer and Der? The life of a plot device is not for the weak of heart.
The Lumineers - Stubborn Love
I have this album. I really like The Lumineers. But I don’t understand the lyrics. “The opposite of love is…in dear?” ["The opposite of love is indifference." Does that help the line? It does for me.] That’s my guess, but that doesn’t make sense. Maybe these guys need to write for some poetry journals so we can all feel their broken-hearted pain. Also, ladies, don’t date sensitive guys who will write about you later in poetry journals and song lyrics. It sounds romantic now, but when you’re explaining to your kids how you knew the Kinks and yeah, you were Lola, it’s going to be awkward.
Mumford & Sons - Lover of the Light
Starts slow, picks up…a little. Could use some banjo. Banjo makes everything a little more peppy. This song is in the genre of what I like to call, “those songs on the album that no one gives a fuck about,” like the second book in a trilogy. Yeah.
Muse - Panic Station
This song is annoying me. Fast forward.
The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather
Oh, Sweater Weather. This is just a strange song. I don’t want anyone’s hands in my sweater. Is that romantic? No, it’s not. It’s creepy. Get your hands out of the sleeves of my sweater, you cold-hearted man. Go far, far away.
New Politics - Harlem
This song reminds me of something cheerleaders would do a peppy routine with lots of backflips and claps to. I like it very much.
Nine Inch Nails - Came Back Haunted
Nine Inch Nails played every single day of my high school. Just the beginning of this song makes me barf. If I listened to all of it, I would probably bleed out of my ears. I have never hated music more.
Of Monsters & Men - Mountain Sound
This song belongs on a pebbly Irish beach with, like, a thick cable knit sweater and a tambourine. With some soup.
Silversun Pickups - The Pit
Is a chipmunk singing this song? I think so.
Thirty Seconds to Mars - Up in the Air
I can’t tell if it’s the synthesized music, the “fucked up on life” lyrics, or the “whoaaa ooo ooo” background girls singing, but this song is supremely awful.
Twenty One Pilots - Holding On To You
Last one! It seems to feature Chopsticks in the beginning, but it seems to work for the song. I think this is one of the only songs I haven’t heard before. And, hey, clever lyrics: “the mountain range of my left side brain,” “when we gonna stop with it/ lyrics that mean nothing/we were gifted with thought.” MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.
Well, unless it’s Katy Perry, because ROAR, I love her.
Niiiice. These guys are good. I might say this is my favorite song on the whole CD. Bravo, Cool Band Guy.
Thanks so so so so much to Shalini for this amazing Guest Review.
Hey everyone! Shalini has a BOOK coming out in a couple of days! An actual book! Go over to her blog, READING AND CHICKENS, for more information.
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