MacGyver Mondays: "The Gauntlet" (Season 1, Episode 4)

Title: The Gauntlet
Airdate: October 20, 1985
My Age at Airdate: 2 years, 3 months, 4 days
Episode Type: Rescue

OK just from the title, I'm going to assume this will all be about MacGyver having to retrieve some sort of glove, be it armored or silk, only time will tell....

OPENING GAMBIT

Ok it looks like we're in the Middle East... A car is slowly working its way through town, a man is yelling at his camel....and MacGyver is creeping over the rooftops, talking about Mrs. Freifogel, his den mother. I love tales of his youth.

He is breaking into an office to steal a map that depicts the location of "some heavy-handed troublemakers. The door out is locked, so he tries to go out the window, but the camel guy yells at him and alerts the soldiers in the square.

Mac slides the map under the door, pushes the key out onto the map and slides it back under the door. Good thing the key didn't bounce and the space under the door was big enough....minor details. He gets out of the building, but the soldiers see him and continue to shoot at him. They have a typical case of what I call "Stormtrooper Aim" (....from Star Wars...it's a movie?.....Calista Flockhart's future (ex?)husband is in it.)

So Mac sees a woman in a black...hijab(? Is that what that is?) putting away laundry. He uses the map to shoot some conveniently located peas at her ankle so that he can steal a robe-thing. Unfortunately, he's still the only white guy in town, so a soldier catches him and demands the map back. MacGyver says that he really needs it and knocks the gun out of the guy's hand and then clobbers him. With a map? But how?! Ah, clever MacGyver has put an iron rod in the map for just such an occasion.

The rest of the soldiers come around the corner as MacGyver leaps over the wall and into the desert. He's running and they're shooting, so he puts the map down and sleds down a dune on top of it and escapes in a hot air balloon. The soldiers wait a LONG amount of time before the realize they can SHOOT A HOT AIR BALLOON WITH BULLETS. Which they eventually do. They actually hit the balloon which is amazing (due to the aforementioned SA affliction)

And now MacGyver uses the map and some duct tap to patch the hold and escape. Of course, the map would have been torn to shreds on the tiny shards of glass (aka "Sand") that he ran it over but maybe it was laminated or something.

MacGyver (voice-over): Just goes to show you, a good map will always get you where you want to go

OPENING CREDITS


OK, we're opening in Mexico? Or South America somewhere.

Oops. Central America. So close.

He tells a quick story about selling apples with his Dad in a town that didn't feel right. When he asked his Dad why, he is told that the town had lynched an innocent man. I hope that's pertinent to the story and not just a supremely shocking way of saying "This town doesn't feel right either"

Some soldiers (I never noticed how many evil soldiers this show has. I guess if you put a uniform on a man, you don't have to explain why he's acting evil, because he's just following orders....whoa. Deep thoughts.) are picking on a woman.

MacGyver bribes them (!?!) with a 20 dollar bill so that the girl can get away. He keeps a 20 paper-clipped in his passport? Weird.

He's now in a newspaper printing....house and asking the printer about a photographer by the name of Kate SomethingSomething (Prescott maybe?) (I bet she's the hot, feisty girl of the episode. Who's got some Passport Dollars they can spare on some good old fashioned Plot Gambling?)

The printer pulls a gun on him and is very suspicious. Printer's wife calls out that he's probably telling the truth.

Oh wait. That's Kate Something. She's played by the girl that was in...hang on...I gotta look this up...

So there's a guy in a white suit and hat and dark sunglasses that she has all these pictures of. He's not supposed to be in this hemisphere unless he's in jail. Apparently MacGyver got him deported.

MacGyver tells her that her publisher wants her safely back home and not endangering herself with this story. She agrees and goes happily back to America......haha. No, she of course refuses because she's got a big story cooking here.

Printer says that the story will also help get rid of the evil Generalissimo.

...Star Trek III! She was the Vulcan that went down and helped Spock go through puberty or something!

So, MacGyver agrees to break into White Suit's hacienda so that she can photograph White Suit selling arms to Generalissimo and take them both down.

Printer (offering MacGyver his gun): Senor, you're going to need this.
MacGyver: Actually, I do much better without them, thanks
--MacGyver sticking to his....principles.

MacGyver uses a camera strap with a plastic clip to tie the electric fence up so they can get in.

They've arrived just in time to see Generalissimo show up. Kate starts snapping pictures. They decided to go with the "see what she sees through the camera as she takes the picture" shot.

HAHA White Suit is the Dean from Animal House. He's so good at being evil.

She has to switch cameras because she's out of film. This episode is officially outdated.

She needs one more shot: The Handshake. BOOM got it. They turn to go and run right into the guards. They're caught!

While everyone acts super tough about everything, MacGyver starts hatching a plan. He volunteers Kate's film so that he can get her camera bag. He hands one camera to the Bad Guys and puts the other on the table behind him. He dips his fingers into some loose plastique that's just lying there and puts the plug for the flash into the plastique. He turns activates the delayed shutter on the camera and basically tackles Kate. The plastique explodes and Mac and Kate are on the run. MacGyver almost gets electrocuted, but he doesn't.

The Generalissimo sends his army to ransack the Printer's place. And I'm pretty sure they killed Printer!

While comforting Kate, MacGyver sees some firecrackers. I bet he uses that later. They go into the church to come up with a plan

With the airport closed and troops everywhere, they realize that the only way out is across the border into Mexico.

MacGyver grabs another strap off of her camera bag and goes up to the bell tower. He sees G and WS arrive. He lays out a candle, the strap and the firecrackers. He duct taps the candle and the firecrackers to the inside of the bell and straps the bell up with the strap. Wait. I guess there are two candles. One in the bell, one on the strap. I sense timed diversion!!! MacGyver loves timed diversions!

They leave the church and MacGyver takes the cable from one truck, goes under a second truck, and attaches it to the axle and bumper of a third truck.

The timed diversion goes off and there's a great moment where MacGyver tries to give Kate a boost into a bus, but she says "That's not necessary" and climbs in herself.

So Mac tapes a side mirror to the top front of the bus and explains that he's making a periscope. Then he frantically asks Kate for her compact. We won't put that down to him assuming that all women have compacts on them at all times, but that he, in his very observant nature, saw that she had makeup on and guessed that this particular woman might.

The jeeps chase after them and there's some spectacular car crashing. Kate, ever the shutterbug photographs it. Now it's just 100 km to the border. But MacGyver says that WS won't give up that easily.

And in fact we see that G and WS (henceforth known as G&WS) are hot on their trail.

Kate is telling Mac about how she woke up owning three very expensive cameras, and she only has one left, but it's her lucky camera.

Kate: If anything happened to this baby, I'd die....or kill.
-- a woman too wrapped up in her material goods or really really blatant foreshadowing? You be the judge.

They get to know eachother as they go, MacGyver being all dreamy for his part and Kate being all "Aww, you're so dreamy" for hers.

They see a spotter plane and can't get under cover fast enough to  not be spotted.

Kate is forever taking damn pictures. Seriously. I think she has a problem.

They go off-road to avoid being seen and wind up in like a river or something. There's playful like marimba music or something. But don't worry, she still has her lucky camera.

Flirting and cameras, that's what she's about.

MacGyver catches a lizard in a trap and cooks it up for her. How does he not have women throwing themselves at him??

Oh, wait. Here's Kate throwing herself at him. The firelight, the lizard, welp time for bed...is she going to try to seduce him? BOOM there's the offer. And there's the acceptance. Put the kiddies to bed. MacGyver's kissing a girl again.

Sunrise. We'll move past the implied Central American sex romp and watch G&WS find the bus and WS hatches a plan to do a pincer attack on M&K. G tells WS that if his plan doesn't work, he'll destroy him. Sounds like trouble in paradise.

MacGyver and Kate (M&K seemed TOO lax, you know?) take out two soldiers by a jeep by pretending she's passed out and tricking them into lowering their guard. She hits one of them with her lucky camera. Oh no. It's broken. She's devastated. MacGyver consoles her, gives her some noogies (seriously.) and they're back on their way in the jeep.

They get all the way to the border, only to stop short when they see all the Generalissimo's men setting up in front of the river that is the border.

So. The titular Gauntlet is going to be this. It's not a glove, but rather something you have to run. Like, running the Gauntlet. Here's a link to what I'm talking about.

Mac decides that if they can't go around them, they'll have to go through them. He's not quite sure how though. So they drive off and find a convenient abandoned farmhouse! Well, a farmhouse is chock full of things MacGyver can convert into weapons, armor, etc. They should just stop the episode here.

They still have that spotter plane flying around and this was seriously just said:

Spotter Plane: Running low on fuel, returning to base
Generalissimo: I don't care if you're low on fuel. Keep looking.
--Quality Leadership

So Mac and Kate have been making bombs and a smoke screen and all this stuff. Basically, they're overheating the jeep and having oil and stuff all over so that it just emits a bunch of smog. It gives them time to deploy the bombs (which are barrels with stuff in them, I guess)

Mac hooks up the jeep to go on its own and sends it careening down the hill. So now it's go time.

Kate: If things don't work out.........I'm really glad I "got to know you" (quotes added by me, because come on. we know what she's saying)
MacGyver: Me too. (seriously! that's his solution to everything!)

They light the barrels and send them rolling down the hill. The soldiers shoot the barrels and they explode!

Except they don't shoot one of the barrels. The one that has Kate and MacGyver in it! The barrel plunges into the river and Kate and MacGyver swim to the freedom of Mexico!

Oh yeah, and the Generalissimo tells WS that he always keeps his promises (So WS is dead)

We close as Kate has jury-rigged her camera back together ("I fixed it, MacGyver style!") and she takes a picture with her, MacGyver and the two Mexican border guards that helped them out of the river. I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of Ms. Kate Connelly. (In fact, I know it. Look for her near the end of Season 2 (38 weeks from now.))

Thanks for reading! See you next week!

NEXT WEEK: THE HEIST

I preach, ramble, AND rant on this week's Countdown!

So, I started recording this one on Friday night. Pretty typical. Then I finished up this evening (It's Saturday night as I type this) and for some reason I got myself worked up about a particular issue. I mean, don't get me wrong. There's not a blue streak of cursing or anything, but I definitely work some stuff out over the course of a couple intros. It'll either be interesting to you or not, but I hope you'll enjoy the music that happens in between!

Countdown #89

***Featuring***
Ben Folds Five
The Black Keys
Blink-182
Bush
Cage the Elephant
Chevelle
Coldplay
Foo Fighters
Gotye (Featuring Kimbra)
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Young the Giant

February 2012 Media Update

With all of the planning of Lila's baptism and everything, I haven't gotten a lot of media time in (I know. Poor James.) so some of this is going to be relatively odd....

Last Song/MP3 I listened to: I was listening to Bad Veins' Self-titled debut album on the way home from work today because they have a new album coming out on April 24th. I was in the middle of listening to "You Kill" when my friend Marc called.

Last TV show I watched: So, I'm the kind of guy who strictly follows the rules he sets up for himself. And in the spirit of that, tonight while we waited for the brownies I made to cook, K, her mom and I watched the season finale of Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood which was enjoyable because she had a baby and then we got to sharing some of our favorite Lila memories. That's what I like to get out of TV: Good conversation. We're still watching Once Upon a Time, though, and that would have been my update if I hadn't made brownies. So I'll let you know that we caught up last night and watched the most recent episode: Fruit of the Poisonous Tree. Every episode, Ginnifer Goodwin's hair looks a little better. I think she's so pretty, but her haircut did not work when she started this show.

Last Movie I watched: We haven't really watched a lot of movies this month. Well, I haven't. I have been meaning to watch Limitless on Netflix. And I want to see Moneyball and 50/50. Oh, and when my friend Marc called, he called to tell me that I need to see Midnight in Paris, posthaste. The last bit of any movie I saw was when K watched the end of Love and Other Drugs. I came home during the climax and wrap-up, so there was no nudity to be seen. It looked like a pretty straight-forward rom-com. So the last movie I watched from front to back is still Love Actually. Which is still such a kickass movie.

Last Written Work I read: I'm in the middle of Stephen King's short story anthology Everything's Eventual. Specifically, I'm in the middle of what completes the non-graphic-novel portion of the Dark Tower series for me (So far. I hear he's doing another one.(Ok. I guess it's more official than I thought. Haha. It's ALSO coming out on April 24th!): The Little Sisters of Eluria. I'm liking this anthology so far, but I think I'm still in the long-form boat for Stephen King. Maybe I just need to read more anthologies. I may read It next.

See you in March!

MacGyver Mondays: "Thief of Budapest" (Season 1, Episode 3)

Title: Thief of Budapest
Airdate: October 13, 1985
My age at Airdate: 2 Years, 2 Months, 27 Days
Episode Type: Espionage

OPENING GAMBIT

A man with a very awesome mustache sits in a tent in the desert. He is in the tent with a horse. Mustache has stolen the horse from a king and it's considered to be one of the most valuable horses alive.

MacGyver takes out the guard and steals his turban. Yep. There's MacGyver in a turban. A perfect disguise.

Mustache is practicing sword-based Martial Arts while Mac saddles the horse and rides it out of the tent. For some reason, a shepherd is among those who try to stop him. So MacGyver steals his crook (shepherd lingo. it's something i do.)

MacGyver leads the chase with his deft, one-handed horseriding. They're on a beach. Hopefully Mac has a plan.....

He's surrounded by Mustache and his men. So what's left to do but joust. Sword vs. Crook. The first pass, Mustache cuts the end off Mac's crook, the next pass, Mac clotheslines Mustache with the hooky part of the crook.

And then the chase continues.

Suddenly, there's a helicopter with a tow line. MacGyver grabs it, hooks the hook to the saddle and the horse lifts into the air. Turns out it was a harness and not just a saddle that MacGyver put on the horse.


Horse (neigh-over): Whinny!!
MacGyver (voiceover): I'm with you, pal. I hate heights


OPENING CREDITS

MacGyver is in, of course, Budapest. He gets an ice cream cone and very cooly eats it without dripping on his snazzy white shirt. He looks good, you guys.

He eats the ice cream and throws the cone away. If there's one thing MacGyver hates....it's probably guns. But if there's TWO things MacGyver hates.....well, probably guns and heights. But if there's THREE things MacGyver hates, you've gotta give the bronze to ice cream cones. Apparently.

He checks out some sort of fancy yellow car and moves on. But the camera lingers as an adorable Street Urchin Girl in a Jaunty Cap and a Fancy Necklace runs up behind him. She runs into him and CLEARLY picks his pocket. Mac catches her and criticizes her technique. She asks him if he's a gypsy. Haha aw, she's cute. I think her name is Yanna. I dont want to call her Urchin the whole episode because she's cute.

So, Yanna closes the scene by successfully picking Mac's pocket.

There are two KGB agents monitoring MacGyver's double agent friend Nicky. He's Russian. It's the 80's.

So, Nicky doesn't want to give MacGyver the names of the KGB agents he has out in public. He says to meet him at Cafe Mozart. (is that how you spell Mozart? It looks wrong...) so, he walks away.

Yonna trips him with some marbles and steals what is almost certainly the list, but she doesn't know any better. Unless......maybe she's a covert KGB agent! It's brilliant! Employ the cute gypsy youth. It'll be the  KGB-CGY project!

The KGB agents (there are like 4 of them now. They must double like tribbles...) yell out Nicky's name and he runs into oncoming traffic and is hit by a truck. Whoa. He's way dead.

The KGB leader searches him but...gasp...no list! They figure that MacGyver must have the list. But then they watch the surveillance tape and see Yonna (have I changed the spelling of her name? Maybe Urchin would have been easier) pick his pocket. So they're after both of them.

KGB Leader is talking to the guy who plays the Dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and he's like the head cop of Budapest or something. Clearly a dirty cop.

MacGyver tries to catch Yanna/Yonna to get his knife back but she's a clever gypsy.....but not clever enough! He knows that she took the watch, too. Man, she's a horrible thief. She said that she gave the watch to her brother, Bruno.

They're going to go talk to him, but the police get to Bruno first! Fuckin' Hungarian Pigs. Whoa it looks like they arrested her whole damn family.

Greek Wedding Inspector also has an AWESOME mustache, too.

KGB Leader tells Greek Wedding Inspector to be a hardass with this family, despite his qualms. GWI is basically a good guy, I think.

So, first things first. Mac and Y?nna have to break her family out of the work camp/prison.

Haha, there's an Asshole Prison Guard in every work camp/prison, you know? This one just picked on Bruno (? I'm not sure if that's Bruno or, like, someone else in her family)

Mac puts a lightbulb (where the hell did he get an intact lightbulb in the Hungarian countryside?!) between two boards ("Think of it as a lightbulb sandwich....and hope they swallow it." Mac always needs a skeptical observer to explain what he's doing in charming, down-home ways) and Y?nna pulls it across the road as the Supply Truck arrives.

WHOA. There's like 7 lightbulbs in that sandwich! Was there just a whole bunch of lightbulbs laying around out there?!?!

Also, why didn't the driver of the Supply Truck notice the wooden board that was crossing in front of the path of his Truch apparently of its own volition?!?1

Naturally, he DOES swallow it, thinking he's popped a flat. He stops and goes around to inspect all the tires, giving MacGyver time to get into the truck. Locks, people. Put locks on your Supply Trucks.

MacGyver puts on a Black Prison Uniform and exits the truck. He fills a bucket with Battery Acid?

Haha he tells a quick anecdote about his mom's chili while he's making a bomb from salt, sugar, weed killer, and the battery acid (or something. it looked mostly like white powder and cloudy water to me).

He makes contact witht he family and tells them to "hang tough".

Under the prison uniform, he has a guard uniform. The gypsies cause a diversion while he takes out the guard of a forklift or something. Oh. Bulldozer. With barbed wire attached to it.

The barbed wire separates guards from prisoners and the bulldozer knocks over the guard tower a la F Troop.

Everyone (by which I mean Bruno and Y?nna's grandpa) loads onto the Supply Truck and escapes!



MacGyver: Now where's my watch?
Bruno: I sold it.
MacGyver: You sold it?!

--comedy genius

So MacGyver has to go talk to a Gypsy Fence named Reena. Bet she's gorgeous. Who wants to bet me?

An obligatory barfight later (wasn't much of a barfight actually. Two guys vs MacGyver. Mac dives behind bar and lights something explosive back there and it flashes like Phosphorous. What could it be? Red powder behind a bar? Anyone?) MacGyver finally meets Reena.

MacGyver: You know, I really don't drink too much.
Reena: Virtuous or suspicious?
MacGyver: Habit.
--Possibly one of the reasons I don't drink is because I saw MacGyver not drinking. True story.

The watch is hanging from a necklace around Reena's neck. MacGyver levels with Reena. And she kisses him. Haha she says that that's how she knows he's not lying. Nice lie detector. Someone's always kissing MacGyver. Have you noticed that?

MacGyver shows her where the list is hidden on the watch. Why is he trusting her so much? That's weird. After all that, she asks what he's offering to pay. The KGB have come into her bar. She says he can't afford to buy it, so it's a gift. He slides down the roof and calls for a taxi.

Welp, that looks like the end of it...hm much more quickly than usual....

Wait. That guy driving the taxi is Y?nna's brother Bruno. So the other guy was her...Dad? Yeah, that makes sense.

Y?nna tells MacGyver that her family wants to defect.

The whole family is now dressed in mechanic's uniforms. They're going to steal racecars from a rally in Budapest to drive across the border.

MacGyver is jamming slices of a credit card into the timer on the traffic light.

Uhoh. KGB Leader and GWI got news that the Taxi had been found, so they're on the way.

Huh. The racecar's are red, white, and blue minis. I mean, they're not mini-Coopers and I never saw the original, but is this, like, an homage to The Italian Job? I think it is!

The traffic light trick slows KGBL and GWI down, but the motorcycle cops are still on their tails.

There's all sorts of racecar shenanigans going on. MacGyver has Y?nna tape her transistor to the police radio(....which they took at some point...I just rewound the episode to see if I was typing when they stole it, but I didn't see anything of the sort...) to jam the radio with non-descript "rock and roll" if they can get it high enough. Fortunately, there's a balloon salesman right there and they stop and buy all his balloons.

The radio/transistor combo is attached to the balloons and the police radios are jammed!

Greek Wedding Inspector: "They're heading for the border!"
--No duh.

The speedy American colored cars make it across like a fjord? or something, but one of the cop cars is swept away.

They're in a sewer pipe now (I think we have car chase BINGO, here.) and some of Y?nna's cousins have raised the grate for them. But they put it down so the last cop car runs into it and off the road.

With so many helpful cousins, why have they not defected before?

They roll into Austria. They're safe.

KGB Leader yells "MACGYVER!" and Mac salutes him sarcastically.

EPILOGUE

MacGyver comes out of the guard booth and tells Y?nna's family that they have successfully escaped. He goes to walk away, but Y?nna has some last words. She's upset that he's leaving. So he gives her his Swiss Army Knife and SHE GIVES HIM A CURSE WHERE HE KEEPS GETTING THINNER AND THINNER....no, I'm kidding. She gives him her gypsy charm necklace. They hug and we go to credits.

Man, that episode had EVERYTHING!

Thanks for watching/reading!

NEXT WEEK: THE GAUNTLET

It was a rough week, but we'll relax with some music!

The week went by so fast and yet it was full of stress for most of the people I know. Weird, huh?

Well, I know what I always do to destress: Rock out to some Alternative Tunes. The funny thing about this countdown is that the songs can take on a comfort food feel to them. So, pull up a chair and enjoy!

Countdown #88

***Featuring***
The Black Keys
Blink-182
Bush
Cage the Elephant
Chevelle
Coldplay
Foo Fighters
Lifehouse
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Switchfoot
Young the Giant

MacGyver Mondays: "The Golden Triangle" (Season 1, Episode 2)

Title: The Golden Triangle
Airdate: October 6, 1985
My Age at Airdate: 2 years, 2 months, 20 days
Episode Type: Magnificent Seven-style Village Rescue

This is where the rubber meets the road, people. We're out of the Pilot territory and into the honest-to-God Season 1 Experience. Still with me? Great. Let's go.

Opening Gambit


A bearded man is holding suitcase in a junkyard. He looks anxious. MacGyver sneaks in undetected. Beard guy is approached by two suits. Mac lets us know that Beard has Pentagon missile launch codes to sell to the suits. He knocks over some tires and everyone pulls out their guns.

Playfully, MacGyver nabs the briefcase and Beard's gun with a car magnet. But now there are three guys with guns after him! How will he escape?!?!

He hides in one of the cars until two of the guys go by, emerges only to be punched in the face by the third guy. They decided to go with a 1st person POV shot for the punching. More dramatic that way. Evokes empathy for MacGyver's predicament.

Mac wakes in the backseat of a car. Ominous music. The three guys are watching him and gesturing to......A FORKLIFT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAR! MacGyver is handcuffed and struggles to escape as the forklift carries him to a car compacter!

"Now, you may find this hard to believe, but there have been times when I've had a lot more fun in the backseat of a car." -- MacGyver's steamy past makes an early appearance in this episode.

He has ripped out the back seat and is now in the trunk. He uses a tire iron as a lever to open the trunk as the compacter crunches down. Very clever, MacGyver. He has escaped with his captors none the wiser. What's left to do?

Hoist their car into the air with the forklift, pin it to a pole, and call the authorities. :)

OPENING CREDITS

We open our main event on seagulls. They're flying over a beach. Where MacGyver lies in the sun, tanning.

A military officer is suddenly standing over him, "Good Morning MacGyver. Ever been to Burma?" The dialogue is off to a great start. The general lays out the mission: Recover or destroy a canister full of super toxic material in 24 hours.

So now we're in the Burmese jungle with MacGyver. He comes upon a slave march. Opium dealers leading locals through the jungle to harvest more product. Looks like we have Plucky Boy in Red Cap, Defiant Mother/Sister, D M/S's Love Interest, D M/S's Grandfather, and the Village Leader on Team Harvester. And Lewd Bully on Team Dealer.

Plucky hits Lewd in the back with a branch, so Lewd chases after him. MacGyver hides Plucky and then  asks him about the Red Cap with American military stuff on it. Clearly from the plane with the Canister. So Plucky shows MacGyver where the plane is. But the Canister is missing.

SUDDENLY MACGYVER AND PLUCKY ARE CAPTURED BY LEWD BULLY AND HIS FRIEND!

Haha Lewd Bully just called MacGyver a Narc. But there's no time for him to ask any further questions. The General is here. He'll want to see the Opium!

Ok I've definitely seen the General in something before. A comedy, I think. I'm not sure. He's kind of tiny. But then, all tyrants are. (Sorry, tiny people).

Ah, they have the stuff from the plane in the VIllage! INCLUDING THE CANISTER!

And the General plans to add the weapons to his helicopter. "My helicopter will become a gunship!"

I think it's clear that MacGyver has to rescue this town from the tyranny of this General. It's not about the Canister anymore.

The General decides to make an example of MacGyver and put him out in the sun for 5 days with no food or water. Interesting callback to when he was tanning on the beach before. Plucky and Defiant Sister (confirmed as Plucky's sister) come and dab him with a washcloth, but say they can't cut him down or The General will kill a bunch of villagers.

Plucky has stolen back MacGyver's Swiss Army Knife. He puts it in MacGyver's hand. A guard change is taking place, but MacGyver tricks the new guard because he's already cut himself free. He knocks out the guard and escapes.

We see an interaction between Defiant Sister's Love Interest and Lewd Bully. So, the third layer of this episode will be DSLI proving himself and standing up to LB.

Back in the village, MacGyver lets out all the village pigs to distract everyone. He sneaks under the tarp covering all the plane scavengings and goes to the canister. He's a little to cavalier with that clearly empty canister. It's flopping around all willy-nilly.

So he's setting up a chain reaction with the rest of the scavengings  to try to get away, but he crashes into a tent. DSLI takes down a guard too and LB runs away. Self-satisfied and cocky, Mac comes back to the village after watching LB hightail it and declares them FREE!....only to be told that LB is going to run to the outpost with the rest of the bad guys and bring back reinforcements...and they're kind of pissed at him for putting them in that position.

The village is divided about whether they want MacGyver to teach them to fight or leave because he's doomed us all. So Mac is all "I've got a chopper to meet. Peace out, yo." (or something like that). But they're zooming in on Plucky, so I think he might run after him and make a desperate plea.

The chopper is about to pick up MacGyver when all of a sudden...there's Plucky. Is he too late? Did MacGyver leave? No! He's still there! "I wasn't going anywhere" (Layer #1, complete)

It must be super nice to return to a village that actually NEEDS you. And Mac looks super smug about it. Really it's only the Village Leader that's not wanting to fight the General.

You know that part in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves where they're preparing to fight the Sherrif? That reminds me of this.

Also, this is a blatant cribbing of The Magnificent Seven (which, in turn ripped off The Seven Samurai)

So, so far, they're making bamboo-based tear gas and trip wire gun nests. Maybe a pit or something?

MacGyver (regarding the Pit): It's perfect
DS: Perfect.... But, they can see it, though
MacGyver: That's what makes it perfect.
--FORESHADOWING 101

Now it looks like they're putting some bamboo in a thin trench. For something.

The reinforcements are on their way.

Mac stands up at the top of a mountain, telling the reinforcements that they're "liable to have a battle on their hands". Because he's badass, that's why.

First up, DSLI chucks a rock at a jeep to get them to chase him, so that Plucky and DS can drop a whole freakin box of snakes on their heads, ambush them, and steal the jeep.

LB clearly sees the pit trap, orders his jeep to drive around....and falls into a pit on the side of the road!! Classic.

The tripwire gun trap tricks the reinforcements into moving a tree, and shooting out their own jeep tires!

So now they're on foot. Wait no. They still have one jeep left. But, you know, it's still good.

A big log battering ram is released and takes out...exactly no one. But they all leap off the last jeep. It drives for another 5 feet and stops for some reason.

Then LB takes out THE BIGGEST WALKIE TALKIE EVER!!!!!! and calls the General.

Ok. NOW the bad guys are on foot. They've hooked the exhaust pipe of the jeep to the bamboo shoot in the middle of the road....oh i get it. That's where they put the bamboo-based tear gas. So, the villagers win, DSLI fights LB and wins, securing his manhood. (Layer #3, complete)

And it's all over....or is it?!?!

The sound of a helicopter...it's the GENERAL!

He has guns on his helicopter and nearly shoots MacGyver, but Mac has an idea. He grabs some wire from the scavengings, hooks it up to a winch (I totally recognize a winch when I see one), and hooks the other end of the wire to the....feet(?) of the General's helicopter. Then it's just like reeling in a fish. In fact, I'm surprised MacGyver isn't talking about catching a fish at the old fishing hole.

A quick Martial Arts fight between the General and Macgyver. Then the General pulls a sword, lunges at MacGyver, trips on the...what are they called? seriously. the helicopter's feet...and somehow impales himself on the sword. I honestly know don't know how that happened. Then the helicopter, which was clearly connected to the General's Life Force, turns off. (Layer #2, complete)

DSLI: Now we are free.
MacGyver: Yeah.

Seriously. "Yeah." is the last line of the episode. Awesome.

Well, that does it for "The Golden Triangle". I hope you're enjoying reading these, because I'm sure enjoying writing them! I know I go on a bit long, but hopefully it's an entertaining kind of long.

NEXT WEEK: THIEF OF BUDAPEST

Countdown #87. Geewilickers!

Haha I have never seen that word spelled out before. It looks silly.

Here's a new countdown. Hopefully no new songs will go on the chart until I figure out how to get my computer fixed after it suddenly found itself sitting in a pool of soapy water. Pray that it's just the power cord that's fried, people!

Countdown #87

***Featuring***
Ben Kweller
The Black Keys
Blink-182
Bush
Cage the Elephant
Chevelle
Coldplay
Foo Fighters
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Switchfoot
Young the Giant