Title: Every Time She Smiles
Airdate: 2/19/1986
My Age at Airdate: 2 years, 7 months, 3 days
Episode Type: Penny, Espionage
Before she was a desperate housewife or even Lois Lane, Teri Hatcher had a recurring role on a little TV show I like to call MacGyver. This is the first episode she 's on. She was 21 when this aired.
OPENING CREDITS (If we don't have any more opening gambits in this season, I believe I'll stop putting this when we start Season 2)
Ok we're establishing that we're not in America. MacGyver is walking near a Merry-Go-Round and reminiscing about when he first rode on one.
He has a cast on. And he's talking about how he should never have skied in the Swiss Alps. He's walking among old men playing chess.
Ah, we're in Bulgaria. He sits down and starts speaking code with his contact. One of his opponent's knights has the microfilm on it. He takes the knight, lightly places it on the stamp section of a postcard, a microfilm comes off of it, and he places a stamp over it and leaves. Nicely done!
Now he's waiting in line at an airport. And who should come up to him but...TERI HATCHER! Her character has big hair and big xenophobia. She introduces herself as Penny Parker. She's super cute and super talkative.
Haha. She makes MacGyver look like Clint Eastwood in Gran Turino. Grumpy and not wanting to talk.
Uhoh. Some army guys and a blond guy in a suit come in and Penny puts something in Mac's pocket. Blond guy is an exboyfriend or something. But he clearly has a temper and a lot of power. He wants her to give him back some jewelry he gave her. He searches through her bag and discovers them missing.
Meanwhile, MacGyver walks through the metal detector and it goes off. Blond Guy and his henchmen run after him. The pull out his bag and there are the jewels. Mac doesn't know what they are, but that doesn't stop him from hit the guards with his bag and running off. But he tries to go into the women's lavatory and a big hilarious Germanish lady yells at him as the guards catch up.
So now they're handcuffed together and they're locked in a room. Haha Mac gets it out of her that she withheld one ring from the jewels and that's why they're being detained. She thinks Blond Guy is just a lowly government worker, but I think it's pretty clear that he's not.
MacGyver is looking for a way out because the postcard with the microfilm was in his luggage and he needs to get it back.
He puts his ear to the wall. He hears a whirring sound. He grabs the metal coatrack and starts bashing the wall. He breaks the drywall. But there's chicken wire preventing them from getting through. On the other side is the baggage conveyer belt.
He and Penny start bending hangers into figure 8's. They link the hangers together and wrap the link hangers around a chair. So now the hook of the hanger is on one side and the other side is attached to a big-ass chair. So he hooks the conveyer belt and the chair flies through the wall. They get on the conveyer belt and ride out in style, to the confusion of the public. Haha it looks like they've been canoodling.
They run outside and try to get a cab. The problem is that they have handcuffs on. Oh, and Blond Guy put an order out with their pictures to all border patrols and they're to be treated as enemies or something. Not good at all.
Now Blond Guy is talking to his uncle, Bald Guy. The jewelry is his mother's. Uh oh. The jewels are worth a LOT of money. They are part of the crown jewels of Hanover.
The microfilm that MacGyver has has Swiss Bank Account numbers that are where Bald Guy has been putting all the money he's been skimming at his government job. The jewels are a "small part" of that skimming.
So they need all those jewels back or else they're basically going to Siberia.
But Blond Guy has been monitoring the Underground that made the microfilm. Bald Guy says that he needs to find out who has the microfilm and that torture may be necessary.
Mac and Penny are walking through the same park with the people playing chess. His contact calls out to him and they go into a shed and the contact starts freaking out. Penny tells him Blond Guy's name and his face falls even further. Of course he knows who Blond Guy is. And he knows that Blond Guy is the nephew to General Bald Guy.
(Meanwhile MacGyver is picking the lock to the handcuffs with one of Penny's earrings.)
Blond Guy is the head of Security and the wrong guy to mess with.
Mac's Contact examines the ring and tells them about the looting of the crown jewels.
MacGyver asks if his contact can hide Penny until he gets the microfilm back. The contact is leading them to a hiding place, but the then Blond Guy and two suited henchmen come down the hill and start chasing after them.
MacGyver and Penny run away, leaving the contact to fend for himself.
They run to the Merry-Go-Round from the beginning. Mac turns the Merry-Go Round on full speed (we're talking red zone of the lever.) Then he throws some rings on the gears that are making it turn and the thing suddenly stops and the henchmen go flying.
So now they're sitting an a dark cafe. It's very romantic. She has drawn him a map of Blond Guy's apartment. It's going to be tough to break in. MacGyver thinks that the stuff is in Blond Guy's apartment because he'd want to keep it all safe.
Aww he and Penny are having a moment. He's very paternal to her. Also, her hair is HUGE! And MacGyver gives her a kiss for good luck (kiss slut) and then she gives him a big passionate kiss for even more luck.
So now Mac's Contact is siting in a dark room, shirtless getting a bucket of water to the face. Blond Guy and Bald Guy are torturing him. Bald Guy has a picture of his family that he thought were safe. His Contact starts spilling. He says that Mac called her "Penny".
Bald Guy tells Blond Guy that the microfilm is probably with the other stuff in his apartment, so Blond Guy is going to go there and shoot MacGyver on sight.
MacGyver is now at Blond Guy's apartment. He has scaled the wall and gone in through the (conveniently) unlocked window. He's having this inner monologue considering the trouble that talking to Penny has gotten him into, but he can't be rude, you know?
Ok, he has found the postcard, but there's a buzz at the door. And someone's knocking. It's Penny. The silly girl. Haha she came in the front door because the doorman knows her. Of course that's bad.
And now Blond Guy is coming into the place. So they have to hide. But Penny doesn't hide. She sits on his couch and distracts him. She might not be so dumb after all.
Mac is in the kitchen. He has removed the gas line from the oven and puts the line over a cookie sheet. He's going to mix rat poison, soap flakes, and tile cleaner. Now he's putting a dab of lard on a plate, a piece of newspaper, and some crystals from a bottle of oven cleaner. He puts it in front of the gas line.
Mac reveals himself to Blond Guy. Blond Guy tells him to look at all the soldiers outside. The building is surrounded. Blond Guy pulls his gun out and threatens MacGyver. He wants the microfilm.
Meanwhile the stuff in the kitchen is bubbling and smoking. Blond Guy goes to investigate and Mac knocks him out. The stuff in the kitchen explodes. He and Penny grab bathrobes to mingle with the tenants. But she grabs sexy lingerie. Hilarious. They jump in Blond Guy's car. Penny has grabbed the keys from his dresser and they escape.
Blond Guy is making plans to block the borders, have guards at the gas stations and all that. But he wisely tells a subordinate that "there is always a way to get through" which is rare for a villain to realize.
MacGyver and Penny are driving through the night. She's gushing about the beautiful countryside. Mac is worried about the gas level. But Penny knows where they can get gas that's not at a gas station.
Blond Guy is on the move. He has "an idea" he wants to check out.
Mac and Penny are in a nice house that turns out to be Bald Guy's house. But the gas can she was remembering is empty.
Penny: Hey wait a minute! There's that machine that they used to plow with...
MacGyver: ........A trac-tor?
Penny: Yeah!
--Laugh out loud comedy on this week's episode. Seriously.
So they're going to go get the tractor (or maybe just the gas for the tractor) but then Blond Guy comes in with a gun
Penny: OH SWELL! You're not gonna shoot us, are you?
Mac tries to convince Blond Guy that he has a choice in the matter of whether he kills them and continues to take orders from his corrupt Uncle.
Ok, so I don't usually say what the names of one-time-only characters on this show are, but Blond Guy's name is Stephan (pronounced STEFF-on). It might be "Stepan" or "Stepon" (like STEP-on), but
MacGyver: It's a matter of conscience, Steve. You do have one of those, don't you?
Hahaha he keeps calling him Steve. Awesome.
So they're on their way out, but then Bald Guy steps out of a doorway and ALSO has a gun. So Mac hands over the postcard to Bald Guy. Bald Guy tells Steve to kill both of them. Bald Guy explains that the other men are waiting at the crossroads for 10 minutes and then they'll come to the house where Bald Guy will explain that they had to shoot the two spies because they were trying to escape.
Steve attacks Bald Guy and Mac knocks him out! Change of Heart!!!! Uh oh. Dude is going to get shot. He knows his Swiss Bank Account number so he can help them escape and pay their way. I almost guarantee that Steve is going to get shot.
Bald Guy awakens as the guards pull up. So it's a race to the border. This show has a lot of races to the border. Borders were a big thing in the 80's.
MacGyver has Penny take the wheel and drive close to a truck that's ahead of them while Mac goes out the sunroof and jumps onto the truck. He connects the exhaust from the truck (which is a water truck) to the hose into the water tank and cuts another line so that it's leaking all over the road. The diesel and water are forming an immiscible liquid and causing the cars following them to swerve and crash.
They go under a fence and are in Greece! All three of them. A Greek soldier immediately drives up (what, are they patrolling the countryside??) and demands the passports, but then Penny recognizes him and it's clear that he is in love with her too.
Steve utters the title of the episode and Mac says "Shoulda known" and it's over. They're all safe. I guess I thought the writer(s) was/were going to go for a more tragic ending, but then they didn't.
END
So, that's the first of several Penny Parker episodes that crop up throughout the show. She's lovely and funny. AND HER HAIR IS SO BIG!
See you next week :)
NEXT WEEK: TO BE A MAN
Before she was a desperate housewife or even Lois Lane, Teri Hatcher had a recurring role on a little TV show I like to call MacGyver. This is the first episode she 's on. She was 21 when this aired.
OPENING CREDITS (If we don't have any more opening gambits in this season, I believe I'll stop putting this when we start Season 2)
Ok we're establishing that we're not in America. MacGyver is walking near a Merry-Go-Round and reminiscing about when he first rode on one.
He has a cast on. And he's talking about how he should never have skied in the Swiss Alps. He's walking among old men playing chess.
Ah, we're in Bulgaria. He sits down and starts speaking code with his contact. One of his opponent's knights has the microfilm on it. He takes the knight, lightly places it on the stamp section of a postcard, a microfilm comes off of it, and he places a stamp over it and leaves. Nicely done!
Now he's waiting in line at an airport. And who should come up to him but...TERI HATCHER! Her character has big hair and big xenophobia. She introduces herself as Penny Parker. She's super cute and super talkative.
Haha. She makes MacGyver look like Clint Eastwood in Gran Turino. Grumpy and not wanting to talk.
Uhoh. Some army guys and a blond guy in a suit come in and Penny puts something in Mac's pocket. Blond guy is an exboyfriend or something. But he clearly has a temper and a lot of power. He wants her to give him back some jewelry he gave her. He searches through her bag and discovers them missing.
Meanwhile, MacGyver walks through the metal detector and it goes off. Blond Guy and his henchmen run after him. The pull out his bag and there are the jewels. Mac doesn't know what they are, but that doesn't stop him from hit the guards with his bag and running off. But he tries to go into the women's lavatory and a big hilarious Germanish lady yells at him as the guards catch up.
So now they're handcuffed together and they're locked in a room. Haha Mac gets it out of her that she withheld one ring from the jewels and that's why they're being detained. She thinks Blond Guy is just a lowly government worker, but I think it's pretty clear that he's not.
MacGyver is looking for a way out because the postcard with the microfilm was in his luggage and he needs to get it back.
He puts his ear to the wall. He hears a whirring sound. He grabs the metal coatrack and starts bashing the wall. He breaks the drywall. But there's chicken wire preventing them from getting through. On the other side is the baggage conveyer belt.
He and Penny start bending hangers into figure 8's. They link the hangers together and wrap the link hangers around a chair. So now the hook of the hanger is on one side and the other side is attached to a big-ass chair. So he hooks the conveyer belt and the chair flies through the wall. They get on the conveyer belt and ride out in style, to the confusion of the public. Haha it looks like they've been canoodling.
They run outside and try to get a cab. The problem is that they have handcuffs on. Oh, and Blond Guy put an order out with their pictures to all border patrols and they're to be treated as enemies or something. Not good at all.
Now Blond Guy is talking to his uncle, Bald Guy. The jewelry is his mother's. Uh oh. The jewels are worth a LOT of money. They are part of the crown jewels of Hanover.
The microfilm that MacGyver has has Swiss Bank Account numbers that are where Bald Guy has been putting all the money he's been skimming at his government job. The jewels are a "small part" of that skimming.
So they need all those jewels back or else they're basically going to Siberia.
But Blond Guy has been monitoring the Underground that made the microfilm. Bald Guy says that he needs to find out who has the microfilm and that torture may be necessary.
Mac and Penny are walking through the same park with the people playing chess. His contact calls out to him and they go into a shed and the contact starts freaking out. Penny tells him Blond Guy's name and his face falls even further. Of course he knows who Blond Guy is. And he knows that Blond Guy is the nephew to General Bald Guy.
(Meanwhile MacGyver is picking the lock to the handcuffs with one of Penny's earrings.)
Blond Guy is the head of Security and the wrong guy to mess with.
Mac's Contact examines the ring and tells them about the looting of the crown jewels.
MacGyver asks if his contact can hide Penny until he gets the microfilm back. The contact is leading them to a hiding place, but the then Blond Guy and two suited henchmen come down the hill and start chasing after them.
MacGyver and Penny run away, leaving the contact to fend for himself.
They run to the Merry-Go-Round from the beginning. Mac turns the Merry-Go Round on full speed (we're talking red zone of the lever.) Then he throws some rings on the gears that are making it turn and the thing suddenly stops and the henchmen go flying.
So now they're sitting an a dark cafe. It's very romantic. She has drawn him a map of Blond Guy's apartment. It's going to be tough to break in. MacGyver thinks that the stuff is in Blond Guy's apartment because he'd want to keep it all safe.
Aww he and Penny are having a moment. He's very paternal to her. Also, her hair is HUGE! And MacGyver gives her a kiss for good luck (kiss slut) and then she gives him a big passionate kiss for even more luck.
So now Mac's Contact is siting in a dark room, shirtless getting a bucket of water to the face. Blond Guy and Bald Guy are torturing him. Bald Guy has a picture of his family that he thought were safe. His Contact starts spilling. He says that Mac called her "Penny".
Bald Guy tells Blond Guy that the microfilm is probably with the other stuff in his apartment, so Blond Guy is going to go there and shoot MacGyver on sight.
MacGyver is now at Blond Guy's apartment. He has scaled the wall and gone in through the (conveniently) unlocked window. He's having this inner monologue considering the trouble that talking to Penny has gotten him into, but he can't be rude, you know?
Ok, he has found the postcard, but there's a buzz at the door. And someone's knocking. It's Penny. The silly girl. Haha she came in the front door because the doorman knows her. Of course that's bad.
And now Blond Guy is coming into the place. So they have to hide. But Penny doesn't hide. She sits on his couch and distracts him. She might not be so dumb after all.
Mac is in the kitchen. He has removed the gas line from the oven and puts the line over a cookie sheet. He's going to mix rat poison, soap flakes, and tile cleaner. Now he's putting a dab of lard on a plate, a piece of newspaper, and some crystals from a bottle of oven cleaner. He puts it in front of the gas line.
Mac reveals himself to Blond Guy. Blond Guy tells him to look at all the soldiers outside. The building is surrounded. Blond Guy pulls his gun out and threatens MacGyver. He wants the microfilm.
Meanwhile the stuff in the kitchen is bubbling and smoking. Blond Guy goes to investigate and Mac knocks him out. The stuff in the kitchen explodes. He and Penny grab bathrobes to mingle with the tenants. But she grabs sexy lingerie. Hilarious. They jump in Blond Guy's car. Penny has grabbed the keys from his dresser and they escape.
Blond Guy is making plans to block the borders, have guards at the gas stations and all that. But he wisely tells a subordinate that "there is always a way to get through" which is rare for a villain to realize.
MacGyver and Penny are driving through the night. She's gushing about the beautiful countryside. Mac is worried about the gas level. But Penny knows where they can get gas that's not at a gas station.
Blond Guy is on the move. He has "an idea" he wants to check out.
Mac and Penny are in a nice house that turns out to be Bald Guy's house. But the gas can she was remembering is empty.
Penny: Hey wait a minute! There's that machine that they used to plow with...
MacGyver: ........A trac-tor?
Penny: Yeah!
--Laugh out loud comedy on this week's episode. Seriously.
So they're going to go get the tractor (or maybe just the gas for the tractor) but then Blond Guy comes in with a gun
Penny: OH SWELL! You're not gonna shoot us, are you?
Mac tries to convince Blond Guy that he has a choice in the matter of whether he kills them and continues to take orders from his corrupt Uncle.
Ok, so I don't usually say what the names of one-time-only characters on this show are, but Blond Guy's name is Stephan (pronounced STEFF-on). It might be "Stepan" or "Stepon" (like STEP-on), but
MacGyver: It's a matter of conscience, Steve. You do have one of those, don't you?
Hahaha he keeps calling him Steve. Awesome.
So they're on their way out, but then Bald Guy steps out of a doorway and ALSO has a gun. So Mac hands over the postcard to Bald Guy. Bald Guy tells Steve to kill both of them. Bald Guy explains that the other men are waiting at the crossroads for 10 minutes and then they'll come to the house where Bald Guy will explain that they had to shoot the two spies because they were trying to escape.
Steve attacks Bald Guy and Mac knocks him out! Change of Heart!!!! Uh oh. Dude is going to get shot. He knows his Swiss Bank Account number so he can help them escape and pay their way. I almost guarantee that Steve is going to get shot.
Bald Guy awakens as the guards pull up. So it's a race to the border. This show has a lot of races to the border. Borders were a big thing in the 80's.
MacGyver has Penny take the wheel and drive close to a truck that's ahead of them while Mac goes out the sunroof and jumps onto the truck. He connects the exhaust from the truck (which is a water truck) to the hose into the water tank and cuts another line so that it's leaking all over the road. The diesel and water are forming an immiscible liquid and causing the cars following them to swerve and crash.
They go under a fence and are in Greece! All three of them. A Greek soldier immediately drives up (what, are they patrolling the countryside??) and demands the passports, but then Penny recognizes him and it's clear that he is in love with her too.
Steve utters the title of the episode and Mac says "Shoulda known" and it's over. They're all safe. I guess I thought the writer(s) was/were going to go for a more tragic ending, but then they didn't.
END
So, that's the first of several Penny Parker episodes that crop up throughout the show. She's lovely and funny. AND HER HAIR IS SO BIG!
See you next week :)
NEXT WEEK: TO BE A MAN
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