Title: The Golden Triangle
Airdate: October 6, 1985
My Age at Airdate: 2 years, 2 months, 20 days
Episode Type: Magnificent Seven-style Village Rescue
This is where the rubber meets the road, people. We're out of the Pilot territory and into the honest-to-God Season 1 Experience. Still with me? Great. Let's go.
Opening Gambit
A bearded man is holding suitcase in a junkyard. He looks anxious. MacGyver sneaks in undetected. Beard guy is approached by two suits. Mac lets us know that Beard has Pentagon missile launch codes to sell to the suits. He knocks over some tires and everyone pulls out their guns.
Playfully, MacGyver nabs the briefcase and Beard's gun with a car magnet. But now there are three guys with guns after him! How will he escape?!?!
He hides in one of the cars until two of the guys go by, emerges only to be punched in the face by the third guy. They decided to go with a 1st person POV shot for the punching. More dramatic that way. Evokes empathy for MacGyver's predicament.
Mac wakes in the backseat of a car. Ominous music. The three guys are watching him and gesturing to......A FORKLIFT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAR! MacGyver is handcuffed and struggles to escape as the forklift carries him to a car compacter!
"Now, you may find this hard to believe, but there have been times when I've had a lot more fun in the backseat of a car." -- MacGyver's steamy past makes an early appearance in this episode.
He has ripped out the back seat and is now in the trunk. He uses a tire iron as a lever to open the trunk as the compacter crunches down. Very clever, MacGyver. He has escaped with his captors none the wiser. What's left to do?
Hoist their car into the air with the forklift, pin it to a pole, and call the authorities. :)
OPENING CREDITS
We open our main event on seagulls. They're flying over a beach. Where MacGyver lies in the sun, tanning.
A military officer is suddenly standing over him, "Good Morning MacGyver. Ever been to Burma?" The dialogue is off to a great start. The general lays out the mission: Recover or destroy a canister full of super toxic material in 24 hours.
So now we're in the Burmese jungle with MacGyver. He comes upon a slave march. Opium dealers leading locals through the jungle to harvest more product. Looks like we have Plucky Boy in Red Cap, Defiant Mother/Sister, D M/S's Love Interest, D M/S's Grandfather, and the Village Leader on Team Harvester. And Lewd Bully on Team Dealer.
Plucky hits Lewd in the back with a branch, so Lewd chases after him. MacGyver hides Plucky and then asks him about the Red Cap with American military stuff on it. Clearly from the plane with the Canister. So Plucky shows MacGyver where the plane is. But the Canister is missing.
SUDDENLY MACGYVER AND PLUCKY ARE CAPTURED BY LEWD BULLY AND HIS FRIEND!
Haha Lewd Bully just called MacGyver a Narc. But there's no time for him to ask any further questions. The General is here. He'll want to see the Opium!
Ok I've definitely seen the General in something before. A comedy, I think. I'm not sure. He's kind of tiny. But then, all tyrants are. (Sorry, tiny people).
Ah, they have the stuff from the plane in the VIllage! INCLUDING THE CANISTER!
And the General plans to add the weapons to his helicopter. "My helicopter will become a gunship!"
I think it's clear that MacGyver has to rescue this town from the tyranny of this General. It's not about the Canister anymore.
The General decides to make an example of MacGyver and put him out in the sun for 5 days with no food or water. Interesting callback to when he was tanning on the beach before. Plucky and Defiant Sister (confirmed as Plucky's sister) come and dab him with a washcloth, but say they can't cut him down or The General will kill a bunch of villagers.
Plucky has stolen back MacGyver's Swiss Army Knife. He puts it in MacGyver's hand. A guard change is taking place, but MacGyver tricks the new guard because he's already cut himself free. He knocks out the guard and escapes.
We see an interaction between Defiant Sister's Love Interest and Lewd Bully. So, the third layer of this episode will be DSLI proving himself and standing up to LB.
Back in the village, MacGyver lets out all the village pigs to distract everyone. He sneaks under the tarp covering all the plane scavengings and goes to the canister. He's a little to cavalier with that clearly empty canister. It's flopping around all willy-nilly.
So he's setting up a chain reaction with the rest of the scavengings to try to get away, but he crashes into a tent. DSLI takes down a guard too and LB runs away. Self-satisfied and cocky, Mac comes back to the village after watching LB hightail it and declares them FREE!....only to be told that LB is going to run to the outpost with the rest of the bad guys and bring back reinforcements...and they're kind of pissed at him for putting them in that position.
The village is divided about whether they want MacGyver to teach them to fight or leave because he's doomed us all. So Mac is all "I've got a chopper to meet. Peace out, yo." (or something like that). But they're zooming in on Plucky, so I think he might run after him and make a desperate plea.
The chopper is about to pick up MacGyver when all of a sudden...there's Plucky. Is he too late? Did MacGyver leave? No! He's still there! "I wasn't going anywhere" (Layer #1, complete)
It must be super nice to return to a village that actually NEEDS you. And Mac looks super smug about it. Really it's only the Village Leader that's not wanting to fight the General.
You know that part in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves where they're preparing to fight the Sherrif? That reminds me of this.
Also, this is a blatant cribbing of The Magnificent Seven (which, in turn ripped off The Seven Samurai)
So, so far, they're making bamboo-based tear gas and trip wire gun nests. Maybe a pit or something?
MacGyver (regarding the Pit): It's perfect
DS: Perfect.... But, they can see it, though
MacGyver: That's what makes it perfect.
--FORESHADOWING 101
Now it looks like they're putting some bamboo in a thin trench. For something.
The reinforcements are on their way.
Mac stands up at the top of a mountain, telling the reinforcements that they're "liable to have a battle on their hands". Because he's badass, that's why.
First up, DSLI chucks a rock at a jeep to get them to chase him, so that Plucky and DS can drop a whole freakin box of snakes on their heads, ambush them, and steal the jeep.
LB clearly sees the pit trap, orders his jeep to drive around....and falls into a pit on the side of the road!! Classic.
The tripwire gun trap tricks the reinforcements into moving a tree, and shooting out their own jeep tires!
So now they're on foot. Wait no. They still have one jeep left. But, you know, it's still good.
A big log battering ram is released and takes out...exactly no one. But they all leap off the last jeep. It drives for another 5 feet and stops for some reason.
Then LB takes out THE BIGGEST WALKIE TALKIE EVER!!!!!! and calls the General.
Ok. NOW the bad guys are on foot. They've hooked the exhaust pipe of the jeep to the bamboo shoot in the middle of the road....oh i get it. That's where they put the bamboo-based tear gas. So, the villagers win, DSLI fights LB and wins, securing his manhood. (Layer #3, complete)
And it's all over....or is it?!?!
The sound of a helicopter...it's the GENERAL!
He has guns on his helicopter and nearly shoots MacGyver, but Mac has an idea. He grabs some wire from the scavengings, hooks it up to a winch (I totally recognize a winch when I see one), and hooks the other end of the wire to the....feet(?) of the General's helicopter. Then it's just like reeling in a fish. In fact, I'm surprised MacGyver isn't talking about catching a fish at the old fishing hole.
A quick Martial Arts fight between the General and Macgyver. Then the General pulls a sword, lunges at MacGyver, trips on the...what are they called? seriously. the helicopter's feet...and somehow impales himself on the sword. I honestly know don't know how that happened. Then the helicopter, which was clearly connected to the General's Life Force, turns off. (Layer #2, complete)
DSLI: Now we are free.
MacGyver: Yeah.
Seriously. "Yeah." is the last line of the episode. Awesome.
Well, that does it for "The Golden Triangle". I hope you're enjoying reading these, because I'm sure enjoying writing them! I know I go on a bit long, but hopefully it's an entertaining kind of long.
NEXT WEEK: THIEF OF BUDAPEST
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